bowlingforsoup:

id like to see an english teacher write a successful text post

(via tipslip)

railroadsoftware:

me: (farts right before leaving a store)
my girlfriend: oh wait I want to look at this one last thing
me: no we got to go right now

(via vegimight)

anartisticanomaly:

phantomcat94:

meefling:

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

(via majorsarcasm19)

chillaxemurderer:

sometimes im hungry and other times im asleep

(via succeeding)